Ice Cream, You Scream

 

Right now, I am in the middle of birthday season at my house.  It is like monsoon season, except with non-stop gift wrap instead of rain (but also rain, since we live here).  It starts on Valentine’s Day with my mom’s birthday (an unforgettable date for everyone except my father, who asks every year if Valentine’s Day is on February 17th).  It keeps going until we’ve had 9 family birthdays in just 10 weeks (“or your money back!”), and everyone is exhausted from all the celebrating.

Of course, the most important in my house is my daughter’s, at the end of the birthday marathon.   And now that she is in school, I have the added fun of bringing a treat to school for her classmates.  This isn’t terribly complicated, really.  This year, none of her classmates have any allergies, so we don’t have food restrictions.  Of course, we are vegetarians, but I don’t think that really matters here.  Kids just don’t get that excited when you yell, “Come get your pork cakes!”  Also, the candles keep falling over.  So regular cupcakes it is. 

But I don’t want to do anything regular!  I want to be a special mom who makes special treats!  Something unusual!  Something spectacular!  Something like… cupcakes in ice cream cones!  How hard could that be?

I decided it would be best to practice ahead of time, in case it wasn’t as obvious as it seemed to me.  And since I’m a thoroughly modern mommy, I went straight to YouTube for help.  It turns out that instructional videos on making ice cream cone cupcakes are quite popular.  More popular than, say, videos of hot guys eating cupcakes.  Not that I was searching for that.  Who said I was searching for that?  PLEASE don’t tell anyone I was searching for that!!

Ahem.  Moving on.  There are actually two different styles of ice cream cone cupcakes- stacked and filled.  Stacked involves balancing two premade cupcakes on top of the ice cream cone, then covering it with frosting to create the illusion of ice cream.  I considered this model, but opted against it when I considered the architechtural skill required to make this dessert, and it seems to me that advanced education should not be needed to make a treat for 5 year olds. 

This leaves the filled kind.  I found a recipe and went with it.  Basically, make cake mix, pour it into ice cream cones, bake.  The one thing I got wrong was how much cake mix to put in the cones.  The recipe said to fill the cones about two-thirds full, but I wasn’t entirely sure what two-thirds of the cone was, since it gradually expands as it moves from bottom to top since it is shaped like, well, a cone. 

Also, I never follow rules like that- I like big fluffy cupcakes, so I usually fill them close to the top.  I have discovered, however, that this method doesn’t work with ice cream cones.  I didn’t even fill them all the way to the top, but things went bad anyway.  The cake part came flowing over the top of the cones, oozing down the sides.  Then, for some reason I haven’t quite uncovered, the part that remained in the cones cratered in on itself, like a fallen souffle.  It looked like a cupcake crime scene, where someone had shot holes into each of my lovely treats, and they bled chocolate all over my muffin tins.  It was a dessert disaster.

So I am now in the process of recreating the recipe, this time correctly.  I’m hoping I will have it down by the time I need to bring them in for treat day.  I think I can do it.  But if it doesn’t work, I’m not worried.  I’ll just say, “Hey kids, come get your pork cakes!”

Right now, I am in the middle of birthday season at my house.  It is like monsoon season, except with non-stop gift wrap instead of rain (but also rain, since we live here).  It starts on Valentine’s Day with my mom’s birthday (an unforgettable date for everyone except my father, who asks every year if Valentine’s Day is on February 17th).  It keeps going until we’ve had 9 family birthdays in just 10 weeks (“or your money back!”), and everyone is exhausted from all the celebrating.

Of course, the most important in my house is my daughter’s, at the end of the birthday marathon.   And now that she is in school, I have the added fun of bringing a treat to school for her classmates.  This isn’t terribly complicated, really.  This year, none of her classmates have any allergies, so we don’t have food restrictions.  Of course, we are vegetarians, but I don’t think that really matters here.  Kids just don’t get that excited when you yell, “Come get your pork cakes!”  Also, the candles keep falling over.  So regular cupcakes it is. 
But I don’t want to do anything regular!  I want to be a special mom who makes special treats!  Something unusual!  Something spectacular!  Something like… cupcakes in ice cream cones!  How hard could that be?

I decided it would be best to practice ahead of time, in case it wasn’t as obvious as it seemed to me.  And since I’m a thoroughly modern mommy, I went straight to YouTube for help.  It turns out that instructional videos on making ice cream cone cupcakes are quite popular.  More popular than, say, videos of hot guys eating cupcakes.  Not that I was searching for that.  Who said I was searching for that?  PLEASE don’t tell anyone I was searching for that!!

Ahem.  Moving on.  There are actually two different styles of ice cream cone cupcakes- stacked and filled.  Stacked involves balancing two premade cupcakes on top of the ice cream cone, then covering it with frosting to create the illusion of ice cream.  I considered this model, but opted against it when I considered the architechtural skill required to make this dessert, and it seems to me that advanced education should not be needed to make a treat for 5 year olds. 

This leaves the filled kind.  I found a recipe and went with it.  Basically, make cake mix, pour it into ice cream cones, bake.  The one thing I got wrong was how much cake mix to put in the cones.  The recipe said to fill the cones about two-thirds full, but I wasn’t entirely sure what two-thirds of the cone was, since it gradually expands as it moves from bottom to top since it is shaped like, well, a cone. 

Also, I never follow rules like that- I like big fluffy cupcakes, so I usually fill them close to the top.  I have discovered, however, that this method doesn’t work with ice cream cones.  I didn’t even fill them all the way to the top, but things went bad anyway.  The cake part came flowing over the top of the cones, oozing down the sides.  Then, for some reason I haven’t quite uncovered, the part that remained in the cones cratered in on itself, like a fallen souffle.  It looked like a cupcake crime scene, where someone had shot holes into each of my lovely treats, and they bled chocolate all over my muffin tins.  It was a dessert disaster.

So I am now in the process of recreating the recipe, this time correctly.  I’m hoping I will have it down by the time I need to bring them in for treat day.  I think I can do it.  But if it doesn’t work, I’m not worried.  I’ll just say, “Hey kids, come get your pork cakes!”
 

 

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