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The Bad Parent Files

Parent teacher conferences are weird. They are performance reviews for a job you didn’t do. They are not about you and all about you at the same time. And they are terrifying. After arriving too early for ours (“Oh no!  We’re early!  Did the teacher see us?  She spotted us!  Act casual as we look at [...]

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A weekend without kids

One evening about a year ago, I was at a Book Club meeting when one of the ladies suggested that we go away for a weekend. “Somewhere that we can just relax and drink and not worry about kids!” she exclaimed. Everyone was on board and began shouting out ideas – everyone but me, that [...]

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Shopping traps… trips

I was at Rite Aid today and saw a pack of Garbage Pail Kids.  You know, those trading cards from the mid-1980′s featuring children modeled after Cabbage Patch Kids but given inappropriate names like Leaky Lindsey and Potty Scotty.  They are disgusting and rude.  And I was *this*close* to buying them. For my daughter. Ok, [...]

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Little Miss Independents

A funny thing happened this September: School started. Ok, maybe it’s not that funny or even unusual since this school thing happens every September. For me, however, it was unusual. All three of my kids were in school. There I go again, being dramatic. Fine – the youngest started preschool and is only there two [...]

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Code Food!

“Code Food!” my husband whispered in a panicked voice.  “We have a Code Food!” I looked at him, his eyes filled with worry.  I looked at my watch:  12:45 pm.  Way past lunch time.   I looked at my husband again, and together we turned to look at my daughter.  We were afraid. Code Food is [...]

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My secret saga

One thing that never fails to annoy me about Facebook are the game status updates that always pop up on my newsfeed. I always know who is playing what, what their scores are, and there’s usually an invite to join them. Friends, if I wanted to play slots, I would go to Vegas, not pretend [...]

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